Horror Rules 101
1) Thou shalt not go investigate strange noises anywhere else. Cuz such action would lead to a gruesome death for thee.
2) Thou shalt always suspect the crying emo one, they are usually the killers.
3) Contrary to popular belief, the monster/killer is not dead yet. So just to be safe, shoot it or stab it a few more times in the head and make sure it's torn limb to limb then you run like hell.
4) Attic, stairways, long hallways, closets are all possible places for the killers to hide. So please call out the names of the survivors then open the door with a long stick or something.
5) There is almost always a patronizing sheriff who refuses to believe the victims, who are almost always teenagers. Who later ends up getting killed.
6) Any characters trying to start the engine of the car during their escape will not survive because the damn car won't work. ALWAYS.
7) Most killers rarely use firearms, preferring knives or other cutting weapons. Despite the close range needed to use such weapons, the killer never runs; he only walks at a calm, measured pace.
8) Also, even if a victim is running, the victim will still get caught and killed by the slow-walking killer.
9) Teenagers always choose some spooky places have sex and end up getting killed. See what your dirty and cheapo urges will cost you?
10) Somehow, the killer manages to get dead body up on the roof anf let their blood drip down from above, and on to the next victim's neck or face.
2) Thou shalt always suspect the crying emo one, they are usually the killers.
3) Contrary to popular belief, the monster/killer is not dead yet. So just to be safe, shoot it or stab it a few more times in the head and make sure it's torn limb to limb then you run like hell.
4) Attic, stairways, long hallways, closets are all possible places for the killers to hide. So please call out the names of the survivors then open the door with a long stick or something.
5) There is almost always a patronizing sheriff who refuses to believe the victims, who are almost always teenagers. Who later ends up getting killed.
6) Any characters trying to start the engine of the car during their escape will not survive because the damn car won't work. ALWAYS.
7) Most killers rarely use firearms, preferring knives or other cutting weapons. Despite the close range needed to use such weapons, the killer never runs; he only walks at a calm, measured pace.
8) Also, even if a victim is running, the victim will still get caught and killed by the slow-walking killer.
9) Teenagers always choose some spooky places have sex and end up getting killed. See what your dirty and cheapo urges will cost you?
10) Somehow, the killer manages to get dead body up on the roof anf let their blood drip down from above, and on to the next victim's neck or face.
Ranted by Squido at 12:55 PM
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